How many of these crushes have you had?
We all remember our first major crush, right? I certainly do – and I remember every silly thing I did in front of him to look cool, every time he didn’t see said cool thing, and every time my friends tried to convince me to go talk to him.
Crushes, despite being a universal experience – and one that we each have many times over – never stop being…fluttery. The magical butterflies we feel at the thought of them, the way our heart skips a beat when they enter a room, and the way our palms sweat when we get anywhere near them don’t lessen with each crush we have. At the end of the day, we’re all like giddy little kids around someone we like.
With each of us going through so many crushes in our lifetime, it’s only to be expected that our crush track record might look similar. In fact, it’s fair to say that every woman can expect to have these 11 types of crushes in her life:
1. The Guy Who’s Totally Wrong For You
Not all crushes have to make sense – sometimes, part of their appeal is just how little sense they make. Maybe he was into cars, and books were more of your thing. Maybe he was a total slacker, and you took only AP classes. Or maybe our families’ religious beliefs couldn’t be more different. They don’t say “opposites attract” for no reason. Sometimes we’d convince ourselves that we’d have something in common if we just looked long enough, but what made this guy fascinating was that he dwelled in uncharted territory for us.
What made the wrong guy fascinating was that he dwelled in uncharted territory for us.
2. The Childhood Friend
Maybe he was our next-door neighbor growing up, our moms were friends first, or he was our very first friend in kindergarten. Either way, for years, we’d play hide and seek, go swimming, finger paint together, and treat each other like extended family, until one day, he’d show up looking…different to us somehow… cute. “Do I… like him?” we’d wonder. Shortly thereafter, the butterflies would ensue, and nothing would ever be the same again. We couldn’t help but daydream about telling our future children about their parents’ adorable origin story.
3. The Barista
Maybe it’s just that we associate him with coffee (not a big thing to be associated with), or maybe he really is as cute as we swear to our friends. But haven’t we all gone to the Starbucks that’s just a little out of the way in the hopes of seeing that one cute barista again whose lattes are way better than everyone else’s because he throws in a little extra pizzazz just for us? If we were feeling lucky, we might slip him our number on a coffee cup sleeve!
4. The Celebrity
While we logically understood there was no chance for us, emotionally, we always held on to the tiny sliver of hope that he’d spot us at his movie premiere, single us out as the only pretty girl in the crowd at his concert, or even accidentally meet him on the street, where he’d fall in love with us instantly and we’d pretend to not know who he is. We’d live happily ever after in an $18 million home in Beverly Hills, and name our daughter Cloud (or some other incredibly imaginative name).
We always held on to the tiny sliver of hope that we’d accidentally meet him on the street.
5. The Older Guy
You know this guy – he could’ve been the sub fresh out of college, the youth group leader, or the neighborhood college kid who offered tutoring sessions. This guy had enough years on us that anything actually happening at the time would’ve been inappropriate, but we couldn’t help but compare him to the lanky, immature, bothersome, beardless boys our own age. To us, the older guy was the picture of manliness, and we couldn’t help but be captivated.
6. The Stranger You’ll Never See Again
With this guy, it was crush at first sight – and the most thrilling thing about the stranger crush is that they popped up when we least expected it: at CVS, on public transit, at our local café, in the line at Disneyland, you name it. Though ultimately short-lived, it was exciting to imagine all the ways he might approach us, or that one day, we’d run into him again, and realize it was fate – until he’d leave, and we’d never see him again.
7. The Class Clown
One of the best ways to a woman’s heart? Make her laugh. The class clown crush knew just how to do that – he’d poke us, charm everyone with his smile, and tell immature jokes that we couldn’t help but giggle at. We might even hate how funny we found him, wanting to be the one girl that didn’t fall for his humor, but his silliness was something we couldn’t resist.
We might even hate how funny we found him, but his silliness was something we couldn’t resist.
8. The Friend’s Older Brother
As a middle schooler or high schooler, one thing was certain: if our friend had an older brother that was at least averagely attractive, we had a big old crush on him. Going to her house on the weekends made us giddy – we’d get to see him in his territory, exchange a few words at dinner, and maybe even brush hands as we reached for the salt simultaneously. If we were really lucky and our friend had a pool, there was the possibility of seeing him (gasp) shirtless.
9. The Intellect
The intellect wasn’t the type to pull big stunts, woo us, or even look our way necessarily – but that was part of his appeal. He’d barely ever utter a word in class, seemingly always caught up in whatever philosophical read he had that week, inspiring us to carry around Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil in the hopes of getting his attention. We craved to know his every thought, dreaming of sitting in a field with him as he read Wordsworth aloud, or explaining to us why time is relative. The idea of his mind drew us in like nothing else.
10. The Bad Boy
This guy was trouble, intrigue, and angst all wrapped into one. He probably had a leather jacket, drove a motorcycle, and might’ve smoked. His dark, unpredictable ways made us weak in the knees, longing to understand him and be cool enough for him to glance our way. We imagined getting on the back of his bike, on our way to do something irresponsible, laughing in the face of danger with him. The bad boy awakened in each of us a need to carve out an identity and embark on adventures.
The bad boy awakened in each of us a need to carve out an identity and embark on adventures.
11. The Right Guy
Eventually, after a string of unrequited loves and crushes that turned into more only to leave us disappointed, we’d find ourselves crushing on what can only be described as the right guy. He’d have all of the best qualities of our past crushes, and none of the worst. He’d be the guy we’d been waiting for all along, know and love us in ways no one else had, and make us glad to leave every other crush in the past. Things with him wouldn’t be totally perfect, but they’d be right.
Crushes are thrilling yet heartbreaking, enjoyable yet overwhelming, lighthearted yet sincere – a universal experience that we’ll never get used to. How many of these crushes have you had?
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