“Wyd?” Ever get this text well past midnight? That’s a classic “f*boy” move. Minimal effort, overly forward, and very clear what he’s in it for. He won’t even try to disguise it. Since this character has been discovered and defined (and turned into an abundance of funny memes!) the game had to be switched up. Now welcome the Casanova!
What’s a Casanova you ask? Well, there are many definitions, all concluding he's an overwhelmingly charming man who habitually seduces many women into sleeping with him. This term was coined after the erotic Italian adventurer of the 1700s, Giacomo Casanova, who slept with 132 women during his lifetime. Basically, a Casanova is a f*boy in a suit. Or as Carrie Underwood tried to warn us in her hit song “Cowboy Casanova,” he’s “candy-coated misery.”
The Casanova puts in effort, knows exactly what to say to have you melting in his hand, and almost seems too good to be true. Unlike the lazy f*boy, the Casanova is all about ambition and conquest when it comes to his pursuits. He wants the chase more than he wants you.
Obviously, with his outward charm overpowering the red flags it can be incredibly hard to detect if you’re in the presence of one. I mean, hey, we don’t want to lead with the jaded assumption that every guy who seems “too good to be true” is a Casanova (there are still good ones out there, ladies!). However, there are some clear-cut signs when we take the rose-colored glasses off. So to help you keep the neutral tint on those frames just a tad bit longer, here are 11 signs that your crush could be a Casanova.
1. His Social Media Is Flooded with Women
It’s one thing for guys to have female friends. It’s a whole other thing for guys to have a fan-following of women without establishing any clear boundaries with them (because a Casanova wouldn’t want to close the door to any opportunities). If you look on your crush’s social media and there are a ton of girls commenting kissy faces and hearts (maybe even the eggplant!) and he’s engaging with it...then he’s not looking to settle down anytime soon. He’s in it for the attention. Classic Casanova.
2. He’s a Smooth Talker
When you’re out with your guy, listen to how he talks to other people (not just you). These charming Casanovas can talk their way through pretty much anything. They’re the type to have the waitress swooning and the barista blushing. He’ll flirt so masterfully out of habit that you’ll start to wonder if it’s even flirting anymore or just his personality. Even worse, you’ll convince yourself “he’s just overly nice.” Before you justify, be sure to look closer.
3. He’s Mysterious
You’re head over heels because you’ve “never connected so deeply with someone before.” He listened. He understood. You’re gushing to your girlfriends about how amazing your conversations are. You’ve opened up to this man more than your diary. The only problem? You were the only one talking. If you’re involved with a smooth-talking Casanova, he knows exactly how to charm you into opening up about yourself without sharing a single detail about his own life. This creates an illusion of intimacy. To avoid falling into this trap, be sure to make room for your questions too when on dates and actually receive answers.
4. He’s Extremely Handsome
Let’s just say, if this guy signs up on Bumble, he’ll probably have over 400 likes within the first two hours. And he’d love that! Because let’s face it, he isn’t humble. In fact, a Casanova will use his natural good looks as a leading attraction factor to call in multiple lovers.
5. He Loves To Make You Jealous
When you’re out, you’ll notice he seems to be flirting with some of the other girls which makes you feel insecure. You go back to justifying “he’s just overly nice, he’s just overly nice” on repeat to keep your cool. But the green monster shows up anyways. You notice him glancing at you while he puts his arm around one of the girls or kisses another one on the cheek. Remember, Casanovas like the chase. Someone who’s serious about you wouldn’t want to see you feeling jealous and insecure because of his actions. But a Casanova? That’s exactly what he wants to see so he can swoop in and battle to get you back. All hail the conquest!
6. He Hides You
You’ve been hanging out with this guy for a while and it seems like there’s no progression towards commitment. He rarely takes you on real dates, he won’t dare post a picture with you on social media, and you haven’t met many of his friends or family other than maybe in a group setting (but you probably didn’t get introduced). All for one reason – he doesn’t want to be off the market! Casanova men want multiple women, not just one. Therefore, he won’t risk the image of being taken.
7. He’s Hard To Get Ahold Of
He’s inconsistent and tends to go through phases of disappearing. He won’t call, only text, because he’s probably with another woman. He’ll cancel at the last minute and say he’s really busy at work…which you believe until you see an Instagram story of him out partying with his friends. Inconsistent communication and interaction is a red flag that he’s most likely entertaining other women and doesn’t want you to know. A Casanova always wants his cake and to eat it too!
8. He Gives Gifts Galore
The Casanova creates false emotional intimacy but really hasn’t put much effort into creating a stable connection past that. So how is he going to keep you on your toes, second guessing your gut feelings, and more importantly (to him!) get you into bed? Gifts! And lots of them. Usually with the tagline “I saw this and thought of you.” Suddenly all the confusion he has put you through disappears as you tell yourself you overthought it all because, clearly, he’s into you. Cue: the rollercoaster ride!
9. Sex Is His Topic of Conversation
Not surprisingly, sex is the highlight of his repertoire, since that’s all he’s thinking about! But he is charming, handsome, and good with words so this won’t be off-putting unless you’re aware he’s a Casanova. More than likely, this will come across cute, flirty, and appealing. Before you go gushing over his antics, be sure you’ve done your homework.
10. He Has a Reputation
The more you start hanging out with him, the more you start talking about him to other people. To your surprise, they all seem to have the same feedback – a giant warning. “He’s a womanizer you know,” or “He only wants one thing from you, then he’ll bounce.” Of course, you don’t want these rumors to be true, and even if they were, you believe you could be the one to change his ways. The problem with this is he more than likely isn’t going to change, so be sure to get to the bottom of those rumors before going any further!
11. He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious
After all the games and wondering, it’s time to skip the drama and just ask this guy what he’s looking for. If he says “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” then take that at face value. No dissecting what that means with your friends or convincing yourself he’ll change his mind for you. He means it. Trying to fit his words to be anything other than what they are will just cause you more heartache and drama down the line. Move on!
Clearly, the Casanova is not for the high-quality woman seeking a serious, committed, lifelong partner. The trouble with Casanovas is they’re hard to identify, and then when you start to become suspicious, you’re often too far gone in your feelings for him that it becomes harder and harder to walk away. Therefore, if you see any hints of these 11 signs, in the words of Carrie Underwood, girl, you better run for your life!
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