10 Ways To Feel Instantly Sexier

Being sexy doesn’t mean being a size zero, dressing in tiny bodycon dresses, or having a twelve-step skincare routine. Sure, being in great shape and indulging in luxury fashion and beauty products can make you feel great. But feeling sexy is more than that. It’s a state of mind. To be a sexy woman is to be a woman who feels confident and beautiful, inside and out. It’s being a woman who is interesting, intentional, and unapologetic.

If you’ve been feeling lackluster or motivated to tap into your attractive feminine energy, have faith knowing that sexiness isn’t defined by an external checklist. It isn’t metaphorically bestowed upon those who dress and look a specific way. It’s so much more inspiring and obtainable than that.

There are a number of things you can do right now to feel more confident and beautiful in your own skin. And, spoiler alert, they won't cost you your entire paycheck.

Exercise

In my own personal experience, the quickest way to feel sexier is through exercise. I recognize profusely sweating through activewear and gulping down oxygen like a fish out of water seems counterproductive to feeling at one’s best. But the endorphin boost is not to be ignored. Endorphins are natural mood boosters. And when we generate them through physical activity, we boost our self-esteem.

Exercise also gives us mental clarity. Every time I’m feeling less than optimal, I squeeze in a sweat session. It leaves me feeling confident (both physically and mentally) and (albeit after I shower) radiant. If you’ve been feeling stuck in a rut, start making exercise a part of your daily routine. Even short, 10-minute walks throughout the day can go a long way toward improving your physical fitness and reaping the benefits of endorphins.

Wear Makeup

I don’t care how popular the “no makeup” movement gets, you’ll never convince me that applying makeup doesn’t make you feel instantly 100x more put together, sexy, and confident. While makeup can and does often require some level of financial input, I also believe you don’t need the best of the best products to look radiant.

The real key is using makeup as a means to highlight your best features. As a natural blonde who considers mascara a non-negotiable, I know that makeup is also an effective way to give a little facial zhush to the features that could use some attention. In other words, I myself use mascara to prove to the world that I do, in fact, have eyelashes.

As I said, don’t get caught up on the cost of your products. Focus instead on colors and applications that highlight your natural beauty. If you’re someone who considers themselves a makeup novice or who has been historically intimidated by beauty amplification (you’re not alone, the industry does that on purpose), start with simple, flattering no-fail products. Think a light layer of blush or a swipe of mascara. Invest some time in watching free YouTube or TikTok tutorials for your specific skin tone and features. I promise it will pay dividends for years to come.

Keep on Top of Grooming

You know those days you recognize you should wash your hair and opt not to? Stop doing that to yourself. Treat your body as a temple and honor it. Wash your hair regularly, keep your nails and hair neatly trimmed, and practice peak hygiene (i.e., actually floss, don’t just tell your dentist that you did). You can slather on all the red lipstick you want, but you won’t feel sexy unless you’re taking care of yourself on the most basic level.

Prioritize Sleep

Even the smartest, most beautiful woman would aesthetically and emotionally droop without adequate sleep. As a mom of three, I know getting enough sleep is often easier said than done. But it’s essential that you try. When you’re well-rested your hair is fuller and your skin is clearer. Proper sleep (seven to nine hours) also balances your body’s hormones, including those that contribute to hunger, stress, and libido. No one feels sexy, confident, and generally happy when running on inadequate sleep.

Make sleep a priority by practicing proper sleep hygiene. Set a standard bedtime, avoid caffeine after noon, and give yourself an hour to wind down (without screens) before hitting the pillow. Consistent sleep will leave you feeling better in almost every aspect of your life and, on the note of sexiness, you may just find yourself in the mood more often.

Embrace Feminine Fashion

To dress “sexy” definitely comes with certain connotations. But if you want to feel truly sexy, inside and out, it’s more important to embrace your own personal style (through a feminine lens) than it is to chase a fashion caricature. For example, one of my female archetypes is the Warrior. Because of this, I feel ultimately much sexier in a tailored blazer than I do in a slinky dress. It’s all about wearing exactly what you want, prioritizing femininity along the way.

This perspective provides a range of clothing options. Depending on your personality and personal style, dressing sexy might mean lacy, cottagecore nap dresses. Or it might mean silk skirts and soft knits. And yes, it might very well mean slinky dresses and show-stopping heels.

Focus on Fit

Even a top model can look less than stunning when wearing ill-fitting clothing and silhouettes that don’t naturally flatter her body type. If you’re not sure what your body type is, find out and start dressing for it. Use clothing to accentuate your best features.

Give your wardrobe a good hard look and get rid of anything that doesn’t leave you feeling excited and confident. Life’s too short to wear uninspired, unflattering clothing.

Practice Positive Self Talk and Visualization

Confidence and sexiness go hand in hand. Talk yourself up. Visualize yourself achieving all of your goals and more. The more faith you have in yourself the more you will radiate a certain je ne sais quoi.

If you’re not sure where to begin, start actively listening for the negative thoughts you throw at yourself. Catch them and replace them with positive sentiments. As I’m fond of telling my children: You can do hard things. I was, in fact, repeating this out loud to myself recently when I decided, somewhat out of the blue, that I was going to teach myself how to quilt. If I can teach myself how to use a walking foot, make a quilt sandwich, and not shatter a sewing needle every time I run fabric through a machine, then you can become a woman who radiates confidence.

Visualization is also a strategy of champions. Become a confident, self-assured woman and you will inevitably manifest irresistible it-girl energy.

Become an Interesting Person

People with no interests are not interesting themselves. Hobbies, passions, and knowledge connect us to social ecosystems, entrench us in history, and give us conversation points beyond petty gossip.

Become an interesting person. Develop a signature recipe. Listen to classical music. Read a book about a specific time in history. Have a favorite “spot” in your community. Put your phone down, get up off the couch, and go do something worth talking about and remembering. The sexiest women are those who have a penchant for living.

Develop Hobbies

People who are good at things are sexy. People who are bad at things but don’t give a damn and keep trying anyway are also sexy. Hobbies make us interesting. They keep us humble in the pursuit of constant improvement. In some cases, they give us purpose.

Maybe you already have hobbies and they’ve fallen by the wayside as you’ve chased education, a career, and a family. Maybe you’ve fallen out of love with your former hobbies. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try a specific hobby but felt silly for doing so. Whether it’s re-inspiring devotion to something you once loved or throwing caution to the wind by trying something totally new, hobbies can make you a sexier individual.

If you’ve been looking for a new hobby to try, some feminine options that come with a low cost to entry include reading, embroidery, baking, drawing, writing, yoga, journaling, photography, and birdwatching. Or, if you’re a glutton for punishment like I am, you might just offhandedly try your hand at quilting.

Practice Proper Etiquette

I’m all about strong, empowered women. But there is nothing less attractive than a woman who disregards proper manners and social behavior for the sake of putting themselves first. Be ambitious in your pursuits and confident in your nature, but just as importantly, be gracious.

Acquaint yourself with proper protocol for hosting, dining, gift-giving, and the like. Get comfortable with modern manners. Those who are generous, kind, and etiquette-forward attract admirers like moths to a flame.

Being sexy isn’t about wearing skimpy clothes, injecting Botox into your face, or devaluing yourself via endless social media selfies and self-criticizing comments. Quite the opposite, actually. Sexiness is a feminine superpower. Whether you’re searching for Mr. Right, looking to improve intimacy in your marriage, or simply yearning to connect with your feminine nature, working on your inner being and confidence can generate a sexy nature that’s hard to ignore.