How To Brainwash Yourself To Be More Confident And Happy So You Can Conquer 2023

Need a New Year's resolution? Why not hack your own brain and trick yourself into becoming a self-assured, confident individual? Shift your self-deprecating thoughts into a more empowering mindset instead.

By Nicole Dominique3 min read

You can control your thoughts. The problem is, a lot of what goes in our mind gets entertained by us (including the negative thoughts), simply because we do not have the awareness or willpower to just observe them without judgment. Instead, we identify with them, losing ourselves to these ideas and concepts that typically aren’t even ours to begin with. For some of us, a lot of our self-deprecating thoughts stems from our strict parents, friends, social media, or the news. We’ve repeated these ideas enough times for them to become a part of our belief system.

With that being said, if our self-image is heavily influenced by others, our friends, family, or whatever else, then that means we can alter our own self-perceptions as well! This might be easier said than done, of course, but there are some tactics that can assist you on your journey to self-love. Here are some of the methods you can use to “brainwash” yourself into being more confident and happy.

Change Your Algorithm

You’re most likely on social media. If that’s the case, you may be unknowingly consuming media that’s not helpful to you. Luckily, your algorithm on most platforms caters to your likes, and you can totally use this to your advantage! For example, your “For You Page” on TikTok shows you videos on topics that you spend a lot of time watching. To change your algorithm for the better, use the search function on the app and look for videos that are more uplifting and positive. Like content that is full of affirmations and positive text, preferably ones that discuss how amazing and beautiful you are. Now do this for all of your social media accounts. 

Listen to Affirmations or Subliminals

If you’re listening to the rage-inducing news for hours on end, then you’re most likely going to be upset the majority of the time, and this goes the same for music. I’m not telling you to completely ditch your Spotify playlist of hopeless romantic songs (talking to myself here), but I am suggesting that you add more affirmations to your music list. 

You can control your thoughts.

Most audio streaming services have affirmations and subliminals that you can easily add to your playlist. A lot of them typically contain messages that are empowering and uplifting.

What Are Subliminals? 

Subliminals are audios that contain positive affirmations and messages that bypass your conscious mind, going straight into your subconscious instead. Subliminal messages are signals that are below the absolute threshold level (ATL) of our waking mind. You can think of our subconscious as the "hiding place" for our motives, desires, and experiences that reside outside our conscious awareness. One theory states that audio and visual subliminals spread activation in our semantic network. You can think of this as a network of concepts and ideas. 

In one experiment in 2008, test subjects were exposed to the Apple logo for just 30 milliseconds, which triggered their associations with creativity. The subjects then had the ability to conjure up creative solutions compared to those who were exposed to an IBM logo, proving just how powerful a subtle message can be. 

Start a Vision Board 

As I’ve stated, subliminal messaging can be incredibly useful. You can create your own vision board to elicit images in your mind that can help you build your confidence. You can add more positive affirmations, goals, things you like about yourself, and more. I also recommend adding photos of the things you’re trying to attain for 2023. For my vision board, I’ve added photos of fit women, as well as poems on self-love and beauty. I make it a point to look at this board every day, typically right before bed. 

Journaling Method 

Here’s another trick you can use to feel like a different person: journal, but only write as if you are the best version of yourself already. That version depends on you, of course. Let’s say you want to be more confident and charismatic – what would that look like? How would you walk? Act? Talk? Imagine yourself walking into a room of crowded people and picture yourself as the most charismatic person in the room. Now, write entries in your journal as that individual.

Journal, but only write as if you are the best version of yourself already.

If you’re prone to writing negative thoughts about yourself, completely do the opposite. Do this enough times, and you’ll trick yourself into believing what you’re writing. Studies show that something as simple as smiling can fool your mind into thinking you’re happy, so imagine what consistently journaling positive things about yourself can do for you!


Meditating is incredibly effective. You don’t have to sit in silence for an hour a day – even just 10 to 30 minutes a day can make a difference in how you feel. The reason why you’ll want to take up this practice is so that you can relinquish control of your negative thought patterns. Your mind is like a muscle, the more you train it to become aware, the better you’ll be at shifting your self-concept. 

Month of Acting 

This is the most challenging method, but it’s also the most rewarding. Dedicate a whole month to being a method actor, and become the person you want to be. If you want to feel good about yourself and your appearance, then pretend to be the prettiest and most popular girl at work or in school. If a month is too difficult, take baby steps. Start with one day, then one week, and so on. If you're not exactly sure what traits or characteristics you want to embody, then pick a celebrity or an influencer to look up to in the meantime, and allow them to be the muse for your month of acting.

Fix Your Gut Health 

This step is crucial. Your gut is your second brain, and it greatly influences how you think and feel. If you’re inflamed by a poor diet or lifestyle, then you will feel more anxious, and it could lead to depression. Science has shown us time and time again how our gut biome is greatly associated with mental illness. Some things you can do to improve your gut biome are to cut out excess sugar, seed oils, gluten, and processed foods. 

Closing Thoughts 

Incorporating just one of these exercises can greatly improve your mental state, as they all help you shift your outlook on yourself and life into a more empowering one. Choose the one that resonates the most with you, stay consistent, and you'll be sure to feel a massive difference!

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