Having feelings for your guy friend is hard enough, but sometimes we find ourselves in quite a disheartening position - said guy friend simply won’t make a move. If you’re nodding your head and thinking, “Yup, that’s me,” then this article is for you.
Ever meet one of those guys you’re absolutely sure has feelings for you, but he won’t take action and make a move? Maybe you’ve been giggling together at your friend’s study group, taking your lunch breaks at the same time on purpose, or hanging out one-on-one for quite some time now. And while you have so much in common, always have a good laugh, and your friends insist he likes you, your relationship seems to be at a bit of a standstill. It's left you unsure whether you should cut your losses or hold out hope.
While it can be frustrating to be caught up in a stagnant almost-relationship, it’s not totally hopeless.
If you’re going through something like this, the good thing is you’re definitely not alone, as evidenced by the countless hours I’ve spent helping friends analyze their own similar situations. While it can be frustrating to be caught up in a seemingly stagnant almost-relationship, it’s not totally hopeless. If you’re resolved not to make the first move, there are still a few things you can do to help move things along.
1. Love yourself.
This may sound cheesy off the bat, but hear me out: When we really like ourselves, it shows. The girls I find myself most often wanting to emulate are girls who have something nice to say about themselves, believe in their abilities, and understand their inherent value. There’s something magnetic about women who appreciate themselves. It’s one of the most attractive qualities you can possess. When we truly love ourselves, it’s impossible for others not to follow suit.
When we truly love ourselves, it’s impossible for others not to follow suit.
2. Ditch the games.
I’m serious. Waiting to text back twice the amount of time he did, pretending to have our eye another guy, and feigning our indifference is only hurting our chances with the guy we really do like. And if he’s intelligent in the slightest, he’ll run far away from anyone pulling these highschool-worthy antics. By abiding by these silly “dating rules,” we’re making it really difficult for him to take our interest seriously—even if he really wants to. When we finally stumble across a person we really like, why bother wasting time with games?
If he’s intelligent in the slightest, he’ll run far away from anyone pulling these highschool-worthy antics.
3. Stop freaking out.
This is definitely easier said than done, but honestly, just stop freaking out. Stop thinking about it all day every day, dissecting every little thing he says or does, and pining for validation. Work on finding other ways to occupy your mind. Hang out with friends who build you up (so much so that who cares if he doesn’t make a move?). Focusing on your career goals (you go, boss lady). Fill empty time with new hobbies-reading, painting, baking, etc. When our lives are filled to the brim, it’s so much easier to not allow an irritating situation like this to take over our every thought.
Stop thinking about it all day every day, dissecting every little thing he says or does, & pining for validation.
In all honesty, it’s not easy to do any of the things I’ve suggested—but that’s exactly why I did. By doing these things, you’re not only increasing your chances of him pursuing you, but you’re also investing in your own wellbeing, making you a healthy woman who’s ready for a worthwhile relationship.